In 1989 Wes Craven released a movie called Shocker. The idea behind it was kind of interesting, but on the whole it kind of came off as a second rate Nightmare On Elm Street. Along with the movie came a soundtrack, that for reasons that only my friends can understand, and Alice Cooper fans could half ass respect, I traded Zeppelin IV for years later. Early in the summer of 1995, which makes a difference when it comes to one of these songs.
A friend of mine from an area of Quebec called Saddlebrook, which is a sub section of Saint-Lazare, by the name of John, traded me this copy of a CD that I would define as being rare for obvious reasons. As I go along I will explain why I traded for this disc. I'll also explain why I have only one friend that could love this disc more than me.
Let me start by saying Desmond Child was the music supervisor for the movie. He also co-wrote most, if not all, of the original material on this album. I'm sure that my buddy Pat is already sporting a little chub upon reading this. I should also warn you good sir (Pat) that most of this review will be directed at you.
The album opens with Shocker which is chocked full of late 1980's creepy ambiance, as well as vocals by both Desmond Child and Paul Stanley. I mean this thing is produced to be Arena Rock greatness. Then you have to add in drums by Tommy Lee, Rudy Sarzo on Bass and guitars by Vivian Campbell and Guy Mann-Dude. I'm not sure why there was a need to put some big uplifting section into the track, but why the hell not. It's 1989 and people dig that shit. I think I need to make a copy of this album for you to enjoy Pat, you would really love The Dudes Of Wrath.
Iggy Pop and a song called Love Transfusion makes total sense, but this sounds totally like a left over from the keyboard heavy section of Alice Cooper's Trash album. Thank you Desmond Child. In all honesty this one isn't that bad.
When I first traded for this album I had no clue Megadeth would be releasing Hidden Treasures in July of 1995. I traded for the album in late June, I believe. So, getting a copy of No More Mr. nice Guy covered by Megadeth seemed like a pretty big deal to me at the time, it was like one of those hidden gem kind of finds. It's a great cover and I love the way Mustaine handles the song.
Okay, Pat, this next song is totally for you. Bonfire's Sword And Stone is so damn fucking powerful and rockin' and you will sing along with this bitch and love it. Totally serious dude. Okay, the lyrics might be a little cheese, but I don't give a shit. This is that crazy arena shit mainlining cocaine.
You want power ballad, well, here you go. I give you the mother of power ballads. Sandi Saraya belts out Timeless Love so carazily that it causes the computer to start skipping and can't continue broadcasting an audio signal. I kid you not.
Next we move on to the reason I had to have this album. Shockdance which features Alice Cooper rapping. I fucking shit you not. One could argue it's spoken word, and I could be one of those, but this piece is fucking so awesomely cheesy that as I listen to this I bang my head, and want to go out killing. "He drags his foot and he clutches his knife / As the people in the city wait in fear for their life / He's a maniac, heart attack, wired to kill / A cold blooded lunatic, hungry for a thrill / Love is the victim in the world gone bad / Hate is like nitro when you're stark raving mad / Electrocute, execute his evil is relentless / Repentless, senseless, and you're defenless / In the name of the fater, in the name of the son / This unholy ghost has only just begun / Bless our souls when we take a last breath / Deliver us from evil in this valley of death / Shockdance, hey! Shockdance, hey! / Stone cold monster of the man / Half Jack the Ripper, a pinch of Son of Sam / Gashes, slashes, he's malicious and vicious / He's a killing machine and he never does the dishes / Once I'm inside you. Im gonna smoke you, / I'll choke you, he's gonna croak you / "Pinker the stinker" the headlines begin / The on the scene reporter says he's gonna do you in / In the name of the fater, in the name of the son / This unholy ghost has only just begun / Bless our souls when we take a last breath / Deliver us from evil in this valley of death / He's a shocker, a rocker. he's a heavy metal mean / unjustifiable, combustible his blood is kerosene / Throw away your guns, forget about mace / 'cos now he's on TV, right in front of your face / Shockdance, hey! Shockdance, hey! / When I was born / I was born a bad seed / Everybody cut me down / Now I'm making them bleed". The other vocalist on this track is the dude that plays Horace Pinker. The band is once again The Dudes Of Wrath.
Okay, at this point I have to admit this album is so fucking horribly cool it's going into the CD player when I reload it. My son will probably think it's some killer new album. Hell, this might warrant a follow up article.
Demon Bell (The Ballad Of Horace Pinker) is so fucking Metal! I mean this is some of that crazy ass Dungeons & Dragons Metal. Oh, and if you know bands that you only know because you remember a very specific time in music, Dangerous Toys may ring a bell. Drew, stop laughing. No, seriously stop laughing. Matt you too.
Voodoo X anyone? Come on I want to hear it for Voodoo X and their smash hit The Awakening! I shit you not, there's no reason this song couldn't have been a hit, if this soundtrack had gone somewhere. Oh wait, there was a band that did this kind of thing, they were called Whitesnake. I mean seriously this is a band that totally was inspired by Whitesnake and Today would be able to cash in on camp value.
Different Breed from Dead On follows that up. Okay, this band reminds me of Annihilator. I mean this is some serious head banging shit that's bitching crazy. This track cements it. This album is so going in the CD player. Holy crap, Desmond is a damn artist as a producer. This album has been way too under valued. "He sees himself apart from you and I / Is he from down below,or is he from the sky / They've got their eyes on you / Patrolling what you do / They only want to govern your soul / Now your time has come to stand, / Fight or run / No,you can't chosse you'll lose / Now the real test begins to see if good or evil wins / You can't change the hands of fate / You're locked in tight ,you see your might / You can escape what can't be real / Now your time has come to stand / Or fight or run / No, you can t choose ,you fucking loser / Breed different breed / Breed different breed / His eyes burn through you, it's time to go / On your little red vacation down below / You enter a new state of mind, no help / from a prayer / Little do you know,you ll entered the demons liar / No,you can t chosse you ll lose / Breed different breed / Breed different breed".
Shocker (Reprise) finishes off the album, and this is that big happy, shiny, rainbows and kittens part of Shocker, that I didn't understand in the first place, but picture that cranked up to eleven. I mean seriously Desmond Child hit the true eleven, and the soloing is awesome. I mean the solo being buried under that heavenly chorus is jaw dropping. This is pure studio wizardry at it's most amazing.
Dude (Pat) seriously, if we currently owned and operated our own version of Wheels, this disc would get played on a Thursday night or something like that. I mean this is some serious stuff that would throw people for a loop if introduced now. It would blow minds.
Realistically speaking this album is a production dream, and I would love to try and make it become the most sought after album, and become some type of cult classic, but I don't think it will happen. But it should be. This album is an album you need to own for no reason at all except for that it needs to be owned and used to fill out the perfect 1989 night. That being said I really have no clue what to rate the content. No clue at all.
?/10 - content
10/10 - production
10/10 - personal bias
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