Rob Zombie - The Sinister Urge

The Sinister Urge holds a special place in my heart because it was my son's lullaby music. I kid you not it was the only album we could put on in the house that would help him fall asleep when he was a toddler. And even though you would think that it might warp him, I would say it had quite the opposite effect. He's more of a little preppy for my likings, but what are you going to do.

I've heard it said that this was almost Rob Zombie's last studio album. There were rumours circling around just after Zombie released his best of package, that he was about to call it quits, and then came Johnny 5 and the rest is history. I can understand why after listening to this album.

The album opens with Sinners Inc. This is more or less a little soundscape, mixed with music to set up a vibe and feel for the album. It's nothing spectacular, but it does the job perfectly.

Next up is Demon Speeding which is a great high paced rocker, that helps fill the album well, but for the most part doesn't do much for me. I'm sure some people love this track, but by Rob's standards it's a little basic. This is a great driving song, but if you are just listening I find the song feels a bit long.

I find Dead Girl Superstar carries on with the same thoughts I had on the last track, but it doesn't feel as long.

The best part about Rob Zombie is you can dance to his music. Never Gonna Stop (the red, red kroovy) is a great example of this. You can bump. You can grind. You can get your freak on and let your dancing shoes do their thing. Also talk about a song that was created to play live. The chorus alone makes this a concert fave. "Yeah / My durango number 95 / Take me to the home / Kick boots / And ultra live / See heaven flash / A horrorshow / Knock it nice / And smooth / Step back and / Watch it flow yeah / Never gonna stop me / Never gonna stop / Never gonna stop me / Never gonna stop / Never gonna stop me / Never gonna stop / Never gonna stop me / Never gonna stop / Yeah / The devil ride / A dinosaur / He paint the monster red / So the blood don't / Stain the floor / In out / Real savage show / Skorry as a shot / Came sickness / Watch it flow yeah / Never gonna stop me / Never gonna stop / Never gonna stop me / Never gonna stop / Never gonna stop me / Never gonna stop / Never gonna stop me / Never gonna stop / Scream if you want it / Cause I want more / Scream if you want it / Cause I want more / Yeah / My durango number 95 / Take me to the home / Kick boots / And ultra live / See heaven flash / A horrorshow / Knock it nice / And smooth / Step back and / Watch it flow yeah / Never gonna stop me / Never gonna stop / Never gonna stop me / Never gonna stop / Never gonna stop me / Never gonna stop / Never gonna stop me / Never gonna stop / Scream if you want it / Cause I want more / Scream if you want it / Cause I want more".

Iron Head features Ozzy Osbourne on vocals as well. This one's got a little groove to it, but it's pretty standard, even with The Prince of Darkness chiming in on the song.

The one song I always tend to forget about when it comes to this album is (go to) California. I always think of this album as being pretty basic and the majority of the songs are similar, with the exception of the few that really stand out. This song does stand out as well, and is a really good song, and once again you can easily dance to it. This song suffers most because of the song that follows.

Feel So Numb is pure adrenaline, high velocity blood pumping, ultra monster stomping, Heavy. It's not Metal, and it's not Rock as most people would think of it. This is one of those songs that describes the Modern Heavy so well.

Transylvanian Trasmissions Pt. 1 is basically another soundscape. It's cool and gives a great vibe.

When I hear Bring Her Down (to Crippletown) I could never tell you the name of the song. I just think of it as the "Beep, beep, beep" song based on one line. It's nothing against the song, it's just a stock track. A Zombie stock track, but a stock track all the same.

Scum Of The Earth is yet another song that I understand why people like it. It's very White Zombie sounding, but that being said is exactly why I really don't care about this track one way or the other. I love Rob solo, and tolerate his first group.

When I first bought this album it was for one song and one song alone. House Of 1000 Corpses is a beautiful, sexy, dark and dirty song that with thrill you with horrifying delight. That's without seeing the movie, that it belongs to. This song perfectly captures the vibe and feel of a movie that had yet to be released when this album first came out. Let's tell you the folk tale of these nasty people. "She had a corpse / Under her bed / She had her fun / But now he's dead / Hear momma said / Come feed desire / Her brother said / Hey, throw her on the fire / This is the house / Come on in / This is the house / Built on sin / This is the house / Nobody lives / This is the house / You get what you give / I cut the flesh / And make it bleed / Fresh skin / Is what I need / I let it dry / Out in the wood / All your crying / Did no good, yeah / Now you're lying / On the floor / Yeah, you can't / Take anymore / The devil's laughing / In your face / Give me another taste, yeah". It then moves into a sound scape and fades out for a minute or two until it kicks back in with the hidden track Unholy Thee, which is a great mix of Heavy music with movie dialogue inserts.

The two big singles on this album were the best choices for singles (Never Gonna Stop and Feel So Numb), House Of 1000 Corspses is still one of my favourite Zombie songs, but other than that to me this album is pretty much basic Rob Zombie. It's not bad, and is really solid, but it's just so overly predictable.

Scum Of The Earth and Demon Speeding were both technically singles as well, but they pailed in comparison, and were just something to throw out on the radio.

I must mention that I always love the production on a Rob Zombie album, and in this case, Scott Humphrey and the main man himself, do a great job with this album.

7/10 - content

9/10 - production

6/10 - personal bias

Alice Cooper - Hey Stoopid

The very first Alice Cooper compact disc I bought was Hey Stoopid. If I remember correctly it was the fourth or fifth one I owned. It essentially kicked off the challenge of getting every Alice Cooper album on CD, which in 1992 was easier said than done. I had bought the cassette when it first came out. I had made a ride to the area mall on my lunch break, to pick up this album when I first found out it came out. I was so excited I even let my little sister tag along, and didn't care that I ended up getting caught in the rain. I listened to the album on my walkman over and over for months.

From day one there were very few songs I didn't care for. I loved every track on this album. It reached out to the twelve year old kid so much that the following year when I ran across a copy on CD I snapped it up right away. I picked it up at a place that doesn't even exist anymore, called Windsor's Rocker Connection. It's the same copy I still listen to to this day, and to be fair should have been replaced years ago.

Needless to say this album and I have history. So I'm a little bias, but when I think of this album, and when I listen to this album, I still do it as a kid. I do it as an older kid though, because I have always listened to this album. It was my Alice Cooper album. It was the first new album I ever went out of my way to buy, and I have never rergetted it.

To me the worst songs on this album were all the singles, and it's the album tracks that do it for me. With the exception of the title track. Hey Stoopid is seriously still a song I totally dig. I love every second of this marvel of production. Also, how can you argue with a song that has Slash soloing and Ozzy lending some minor background vocals? I remember Alice claiming this song was sort of his way of telling people to be stupid, and not rush into anything. I totally get that, but instead I found it was more of a wake-up call. It was about being slow and methodical.

I'm sure there are some people that really like Love's A Loaded Gun. I am not one of them. Not my kind of song, and I could do without it being the second track on the album.

One thing that has alway been great about Alice is that he released great albums, where even the filler tracks were really solid. Snakebite is a mediocre song by Alice Cooper standards. It's a basic track that helps fill up the album, but this would have been a hit single for one of the Glam Metal Bands.

Burning Our Bed is one of those songs that cuts a very fine line for me. It's like a Power Ballad, but not totally, but I want to scream and yell a huge "Why the fuck do you keep doing these fucking ballads!?" But, really it's not that bad of a song. It's not my cup of tea, but you know you could sing this one with a group around a bon fire with a few accoustics. Turn it into a whole Hey Jude kinda thing, if you really wanted to. I wouldn't, but you could if for some reason the need took you.

Dangerous Tonight is a classic Cooper album filler track. Not in the sense that it's filler, far from. In the fact this is a great track that I'm sure many other fans enjoy listening to. It's only an album filler because it's not single material. It's not a very radio friendly song, in the sense that it doesn't have the standard kind of hook. This song is more atmosphere.

Were it not for the fact that I love the album's closing track more than any other song from this album, my favourite song on this album would be the biggest sappy song on the album. Might As Well Be On Mars is a song of such lonely heartbreak. Let's start with the lyrics. "The city streets are wet with rain tonight / Taxi drivers swerve from lane to lane / A lonely guitar man playin' down the hall / Midnight blues comin' through the walls / I tried to call you on the telephone / I left it off the hook / Just to hear it ring / You told me you were better off alone / I never knew that tears could stain / I'm on the roof and I'm starin' at the stars / Lookin' down at all the cars / I can see you / In the window of your favorite corner bar / But to reach you is just too far / And I might as well be on Mars / The city seems so old and grey and beat / It closes in and makes me wanna suffocate / And you just live across the street / But that's a billion miles away / You've turned my world into a dark and lonely place / Like a planet lost in space, my light is fadin' / I'd cross the universe to be right where you are / But I'm right in your backyard / And I might as well be on Mars / I might as well be on Mars / You can't see me / I might as well be the Man on the Moon / You can't hear me / Oh, can you feel me so close / And yet so far / Baby, I might as well be on Mars / Baby, I can't fly / If I could I'd come down to ya / Maybe I should try / I'm on the roof and I'm starin' at the stars / Lookin' down at all lthe cars / I can see you / In the window of your favorite corner bar / But to reach is just too far / And I might as well be on Mars / I might as well be on Mars / You can't see me / I might as well be the Man on the Moon / You can't hear me / Oh, can you feel me so close / And yet so far / Baby, I might as well be on Mars". Now, let me break it down for you like this. This is a Blues song as performed in 1991, if you are Alice Cooper and you want to blow the world away. Peter Collins, which is the name of the fine gentleman that produced this album, built one of the most powerful songs I know. I mean this song is all production, and it's just spectacular. Well, that's not really fair. The music in this song is just mind blowing. If you notice the styles and patterns it doesn't take much to figure out that long time friend and co-writer Dick Wagner had a part in this song. Oh, yeah Desmond Child also wrote on this one, so that also means it's going to be pretty fucking cool. Did I mention it's also the longest song on the album. It's rare that Alice Cooper breaks the five minute barrier, but not very often he goes into seven plus minutes. Did I mention this is an amazing song? Seriously, go listen and love.

Feed My Frankenstein, I don't even know where to begin with this one. It's fun live, and really it's not a bad song, but at the same time it's not a great song. But I can't say that with a straight face since Joe Satriani and Steve Vai both played on this track. It was a historical moment. That being said, um, I blame Wayne's World.

Now we finish off this album with a mostly up hill ride to amazing, and it all begins with Hurricane Years. This is one of those songs that should have been a single. It's the perfect timeless kind of track for teenagers. "I got a ticket to to nowhere / I got no respect for the law / I got no use 'cause it's all abuse / It's the cutting edge of the saw / Ain't got no tiime for the future / Ain't got no time for the past / I'm running up a down escalator / I'm going nowhere fast / I'm hanging on like a spider / Blowing in the wind / This storm's gonna tear a hole / Right thru this web I'm in / Thunder lightning / The wind outside is so damn frightening / But it's alright, all right / Stand clear / You're living in the hurricane years / In the hurricane years / I've been thru major destruction / I've seen thru terrorists' eyes / Sometimes I feel no emotion / Sometimes I break down and cry / I need to walk on a wire / I need a layer of skin / I need a preacher breathing fire / To burn away my sins / And I can't help the victims / On the side of the road / And I can't stop the cyclone / That's about to explode / Thunder lightning / The wind outside is so damn frightening / But it's alright, all right / Stand clear / You're living in the hurricane years / In the hurricane years / Turn my eyes to heaven / Watching all the clouds roll by / I see the blood moon rising / I know I'm way too young to die / Thunder lightning / The wind outside is so damn frightening / But it's alright, all right / Stand clear / You're living in the hurricane years / In the hurricane years". Hell, I think it still applies to my life in this day and age. It's like the theme song for those that were teenagers when this album first came out.

Little By Little is one of those songs that gets me based on one simple detail, I love talkbox on a guitar and this song's got it. Not to mention it's really a great middle of the album kind of track. There are people I can see being pretty serious fans of this song and with good reason. This is a really cool guitar song.

Die For You is the only hiccup in what would otherwise be the perfect ending to an album. You could take most of what I said about Burning Our Bed and apply it to this song no problem. Pretty much word for word.

I love Dirty Dreams. It's really a fun Rock song. It's a great little interpretation of a dirty dream.

Wind-Up Toy is the perfect bit of insanity for me. I love scary, nightmare Alice, he's good for a story and a thrill or two, but he's got nothing on the truly mad Alice. I mean the complete display of insanity presented for your enjoyment. The more out of his mind and into the world psychotic malevolence the more I'm begging for it. However, as a counter point this song explains it all. If I were to put together the ultimate insanity album, and give it a narrative, this would be the opening track to give the back story before Alice goes fully off the deep end. Lyrically I've always had a very close affinity with this song, because it's just so raw and soul bearing. It's those moments of clarity that only drive you further and further into the abyss. "Voices come from down the hall / In my room all painted white / I have my bat and rubber ball / I like to sleep with them at night / But now I'm all smiles / The good little shots must be winning / Guess they crank my dial / My motor is stalled / But my wheels are still spinning / Daddy won't discuss me / What a state I must be / Mommy couldn't stand / Living with a wind-up toy / All my friends live on the floor / Tiny legs and tiny eyes / They're free to crawl under the door / And and someday soon so will I / But now I'm all smiles / These good little shocks must be working / I'm so happy now / Look my fingers don't shake / And my head isn't jerking / Daddy won't discuss me / Oh what a pain I must be / Mommy couldn't stand / Having such a wound-up boy / Doctors want to check me / Poke me and dissect me / What do they expect? / Feelings from a wind-up toy? / I don't think so / I'm just a wind-up toy / A wind-up toy / I'm lost in a nightmare / Shiny white halls / Drawing rats on the wall / Solitary confinement / Chained in a cell / Got my own private hell / The preacher crucifies me / Warden wants to fry me / I was never young / Never just a little boy / Daddy won't discuss me / Oh what a pain I must be / Mama couldn't stand / Having such a wound-up boy / I'm just a wind-up toy / I'm a wind-up toy / I'm just a wind-up toy / I'm just a wind-up toy / I'm just a wind-up toy / Wind-up toy / Wind-up toy / I'm just a wind-up toy / Wind-up toy / Wind-up toy / I'm just a wind-up toy / I'm just a wind-up toy / I'm just a wind-up / Wind-up / Wind-up / Wind-up / Wind-up toy / I'm so happy / I'm just a wind-up toy / Wa wa wa wind-up toy / Wa wind wind-up toy / They come here every night / I see them / Don't you see them / Hmm that's odd isn't it / I'm so tired / I'm winding down / You'll have to go now / It's bedtime / Steven". Sadly this is one of those songs that never gets done live, and the one live version I heard never captured the same vibe. I basically look at this as my generation's Ballad Of Dwight Fry.

I seriously love this album. All my bitching and complaining aside this is my favourite album to come out of the 90's, not that there was much competition (technically only one other studio album, one live album with a single new studio song, and a box set). Were it not for 2008's Along Came A Spider, I could have said that this was Alice's last great album.

8/10 - content 10/10 - production 9/10 - personal bias

Skid Row - Skid Row

I'm not a Skid Row fan, and this album is so totally because of Andie. This album is so uber cocaine eighties Glam Rock. Oh, you couldn't ask for a more perfect example of what Power Rock Pop on coke sounds like. I think you could achieve the same effect slamming three Red Bulls in a row, but back then it was completely powder driven.

The lead off track is Big Guns. This song is the exact kind of song you would expect with that name, released in that time period.

Sweet Little Sister is a good driving song. It's got speed, a pounding rhythm, and really moves at a real heavy clip. However, like most songs you hear in a scene with cars, it doesn't matter five seconds after you hear it.

Can't Stand The Heartache pretty much carries on what I said in the last song, but this one let's girls bop around the house, being all eighties, and you can throw in some jeans and leather, and it's a good time. I will admit I do enjoy the breif solo. Piece Of Me is a bunch of pretty boys, with a pretty sound, trying to sound all rough and tumble. I really dig the rhythm, and like the way the bass works the back end, but it would sound better if it was buried. Also the solo is total shit.

18 And Life is so cliche of the poor little cast away rough boy, that it's instant panty peeler. Seriously, look at these words and set them to some heavy Arena Rock. "Ricky was a young boy, He had a heart of stone. / Lived 9 to 5 and worked his fingers to the bone. / Just barely got out of school, came from the edge of town. / Fought like a switchblade so no one could take him down. / He had no money, oooh no good at home. / He walked the streets a soldier and he fought the world alone / And now it's / 18 and life You got it / 18 and life you know / Your crime is time and it's / 18 and life to go / 18 and life You got it / 18 and life you know / Your crime is time and it's / 18 and life to go / Tequila in his heartbeat, His veins burned gasoline. / It kept his motor running but it never kept him clean. / They say he loved adventure, "Ricky's the wild one." / He married trouble and had a courtship with a gun. / Bang Bang Shoot 'em up, The party never ends. / You can't think of dying when the bottle's your best friend / And now it's / 18 and life You got it / 18 and life you know / Your crime is time and it's / 18 and life to go / 18 and life You got it / 18 and life you know / Your crime is time and it's / 18 and life to go / "Accidents will happen" they all heard Ricky say / He fired his six-shot to the wind - that child blew a child away. / 18 and life You got it / 18 and life you know / Your crime is time and it's / 18 and life to go / 18 and life You got it / 18 and life you know / Your crime is time and it's / 18 and life to go". The interesting thing about this song for me is the fact that it's under four minutes, but feels easily like it's five. I must give props to Dave "The Snake" Sabo for the lead work on this one.

I think that Rattlesnake Shake should have been a couple of different songs. There are parts of this song that just seem out of place, and makes the song sound disjointed in a way that feels wrong.

Oh how I want to mock, and rip on the next song. If there was ever a song that needed to be mocked by this band it's one of their biggest, Youth Gone Wild. Admittedly it's catchy and has a nifty hook, and you get to yell the bands name at one point, but otherwise, um, yeah, even the solo is a waste on this one. But, like I said there are some great hooks.

Okay I do kind of like Here I Am. It's not a bad track, in the sense that it sounds like filler from Alice Cooper's Trash album. One of the throw away tracks, that sounded like everything else, but with some fun words. This would be a great B-Side if it was done by Bon Jovi, or maybe Motley Crue.

The best par about this album for me is how short the songs on it are. Makin' A Mess, which is such a filler that it's whole point is for me to talk about the fact that every song on this album is under four minutes, most are under three and a half, with the exception of the last two tracks.

So, what's the longest song on the album? It's the big power ballad, I Remember You. This is 5:10 of why I'm not a fan of the music from this time period. Some people like it, but I will pass.

Midnight/Tornado is yet another song on the album I don't mind. I would be fine with this one thrown into a mix. It's got a decent groove to it.

Seriously, I really do not care for the music of this time period and I really don't like the sound of the album. It's pretty much Pop dressed up as Hard Rock. The members of the band have talent and you can clearly hear it. That's the only good part about the production. It's nice and crisp. It's also flat, and you can sense that a click track was being shoved up the drummers ass. I think the band was being held way too tightly to pre-planned tempos, while being jacked full of coke. If they had been given a different producer, instead of just being done all cookie cutter, I may have liked the album a bit more. It really needed to breathe, instead of just vibrate at high frequencies.

6/10 - content

5/10 - production

4/10 - personal bias

Type O Negative - Life Is Killing Me

There are many clear differences between certain Type O Negative albums, and that made opinions matter very much based on mood. However, I feel that Life Is Killing Me is their greatest accomplishment. When this album came out I recognized it right away. Every band has that one album, and everything else is just everything else. It's a little different for solo artists.

This ended up being the band's second last studio album, but at the time I really thought it was going to be the last album. It blew my mind when we got one more album four years later, but helped cement the fact that this album was the best of the best.

Thir13teen opens the album, and is a great little instrumental piece. If you look at the liner notes it says that it's from The Munsters tv show, and it might be that I sadly haven't seen the show in forever, but it really doesn't ring a bell. Still, it's a great little track.

I Don't Wanna Be Me is a great upbeat number that really should have been a bigger hit than it was. This song should appeal to just about every human being at some point in their life, at least once."I don't wanna be me anymore / Ever throwing at his home / Two glass houses, twenty stones / Fourteen yellow, six are blue / Could it be worse?.. Quite doubtful. / I don't wanna be me anymore / I don't wanna be me anymore / 1-2 / 1-2-3-4. / Two steps forward, three steps back / Without warning, heart attack / He fell asleep in the snow / Never woke up, died alone / I don't wanna be me anymore / I don't wanna be me anymore / 1-2 / 1-2-3-4. / Please don't dress in black / When you're at his wake / Don't go there to mourn / But to celebrate / I don't wanna be me anymore / I don't wanna be me anymore / 1-2 / 1-2-3-4. / I don't wanna be me anymore / I don't wanna be me anymore". I mean, how can you argue with that?

Less Than Zero starts with a soundscape track that is normal on a Type O CD. It then brings to mind articles I have read over the years about Pete Steele's love for lovey dovey Sixtie's Hippie's music. I use that as a comparison made by Goth, or Metal fans. But this song sounds like the perfect example of that kind of music, and not the kind of song the band typically does on their own. To this day I couldn't sing you a single part of this song, but that's because I hear the vocals as yet another instrument.

Todd's Ship Gods (Above All Things) is one of those songs that's great when listening to the album, or even in a mix, but I never go out of my way to listen to it.

I love the song I Like Goils. It's a great upbeat number, that the casual listener might think is homophobic, because people love to throw that around so quick and easily. However, it's actually Steele recounting his many various encounters, when he's been approached by men looking for a good time. "Come on, / Forget the jar of Vaseline / Hey rich-bitch boy I'm not gonna be your queen and yeah / You can drool, beg me and hope / There's no damn way I'm playing drop the soap, ok / I know I'm strange but I ain't no queer / So take your rage and disappear / But I'm proud not to be PC 'cause / I like goils / I like goils / I like goils / Bad goils all over this world / Now I don't know whose ass you've licked / No shit-tongued boy will ever taste my dick / He says "How 'bout no sex, we'll just be friends" / Hey no thanks Pal, I'll stick with lesbians, you're right! / A sexist pig, I guess it's true / I hate all men including you / I don't care what you think of me 'cause / I like goils / I like goils / I like goils / Bad goils all over this world / I'm quite flattered that you think I'm cute / But I don't deal well with compacted poop, so look / If my views make you annoyed / You're just jealous I don't have hemorrhoids, so now / To make it clear that you can't bone me / My tattooed ass reads "Exit only" / I don't care much for sodomy 'cause / I like goils / I like goils / I like goils / Bad goils all over this world / I like goils / I like goils / I like goils / Bad goils all over this world".

...A Dish Best Served Coldly is more in the classic depressive Type O Negative style. It's Peter Gothically pining for an extended period of time.

How Could She is actually pretty bitchin' musically. It's got a lot of groove and hook, then slides into a mellow remembrance of pretty much every female real or cartoon that was on the television in the 60's, 70's and maybe some early 80's. From there it slowly moves into the old school classic grind that's very standard with Type O, and would symbolize a man being worn down, until it comes back with some killer speed, groove and hook. There's a lot to this song musically, when lyrically it's like so many pop culture songs. Madonna's Vogue and Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire come to mind. However, this song is so much more interesting, because it's more than just a pop culture reference song.

It's been a while since I've listened to this album, so I forgot how the album's title track opened. I had to go double check it was the right track. The core of the song is pretty upbeat and has a great hook, and chorus. The opening of the song, on the other hand, would have you thinking that it's a more typical long winded depressing song, but like most of this album you'd be wrong. I also love the joke behind the line "Life is killing me."

Seriously, even at this point in the album you can tell that while various versions of Type O Negative styles are used, and some songs sound exactly as you'd expect from this Brooklyn band, there are so many dynamics and textures to so many of the songs. But the band clearly is much more evolved on this album than you'll hear on any other.

Nettie is another track that I love listening to, but only when the album is on. Like everything else on this album, it's arranged with a lot ov intricacy. I really think Josh Silver's keyboard work sounds great with it's Classical tones and fills. (We Were) Electrocute is one of the songs on this album I like to sing along with the most. Though I'm still bad with the lyrics. It just has one of those kind of melodies. "We were electrocute / In our has-been 1980's suits / So electrocute / Everyone we knew said it was true / That's when even strangers knew our names / Ten year's later sighed "what a shame" / We were electrocute / To make the point again is moot / Ssssssso electrocute / How on you I've wasted my youth / Your cold eyes of Coney Island sand / Hair dyed the blood of a foolish man / So proud to be by your side / We were a team no one denied / Even though I still miss your lips / You're about as real as your tits". This is one of the most straight ahead songs on the album as well. It does pick up some speed and gets a little heavier as it goes, but not in any complex way, like you find on other songs, on this album.

IYDKMIGTHTKY (Gimme That) is yet another song that you can't help but sing. At least that's what I think, which is why it's easier for me to call the song by a different name, If You Don't Kill Me I'm Going To Have To Kill You. The only reason I can think it was shortened the way it was, was just to see how many people would be able to get the letters straight when saying the title.

Admittedly my favourite song on this album is Angry Inch, which is a cover of a song, that's performed in a movie about a band with a transgendered vocalist. At least I think that's a fair quick description for Hedwig And The Angry Inch. I've seen most of the movie once and it's pretty good, but I'll take the Type O Negative version of the song any day. Also the greatest set of lyrics I have ever heard since Frank Zappa. "My sex-change operation got botched / My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch / Now all I got is a Barbie Doll-crotch / I got an angry inch / Six inches forward and five inches back / I got a / I got an angry inch / I'm from the land where you still hear the cries / I had to get out to sever all ties / I changed my name and assumed a disguise / I got an angry inch / Six inches forward and five inches back / I got a / I got an ingry inch / Six inches forward and five inches back / The train is coming and I'm tied to the track / I try to get up but I can't get no slack / I got an angry inch, angry inch, angry inch / My mother made my tits out of clay / My boyfriend told me that he'd take me away / They dragged me to the doctor one day / I've got an angry inch / Six inches forward and five inches back / I got a / I got an angry inch / A long story short: / When I woke up from the operation / I was bleeding down there / Bleeding from the gash between my legs / My first day as a woman / And already it's that time of the month / But two days later / The hole closed up and the wound healed / And I was left with a one inch mound of flesh / Where my penis used to be / Where my vagina never was / A one inch mound of flesh / With a scar running down it / Like a sideways grimace / On an eyeless face / It was just a little bulge / It was an angry inch / Six inches forward and five inches back / The train is coming and I'm tied to the track / I try to get up but I can't get no slack / I got an angry inch, angry inch, angry inch / Six inches forward and five inches back / Stay undercover 'til the night turns to black / I got my inch and I'm set to attack / I got an angry inch, angry inch, angry inch". If you were wondering about the music, it's pure chest pounding adrenaline. A perfect counterpoint to this song.

The last three songs on this album are all just to come down off the high of the last track. The first one is Anesthesia, which is just about right. Seriously what a drop after the last track. Though to be fair, I most likely would have scrapped this song from the album myself. There's a part of it I don't mind, but for the most part I find this song the most basic of all tracks on the album. This is the one song you have heard on every other album by this band.

Drunk In Paris is a nice musical interlude. It's really a nice texture.

Then the album closes with The Dream Is Dead. This is the reason I thought the band was done. "Champagne glass of blood and wine / On chocolate hearts alone I dine / Candles weeping waxing tears / Ten for roses each one a year - disappear / Arrows fester in my heart / Each memory another dart / Love and death both colored red / Showing my past, the dream is dead / Another lonely Valentine's Day / I can't believe that things turned out this way / And though I hate to see you go / I know it must be so / Another lonely Valentine's Day / Nobody will break your fall / All for none, yeah, none for all / Nothing's so cruel as the truth / Join the Festival of Fools / Nobody will break your fall / All for one, yeah, none for all / Nothing's so cruel as the truth / Join the festival, my fools / Another lonely Valentine's Day / I can't believe things turned out this way / And though I hate to see you go / I know it must be so / Another lonely Valentine's Day / The dream is dead". Sure you can read them thinking it's another song about lost love, but in this case I really thought it was him singing that he was done with the band. And that aside, because of the content and what not, it was the most fitting way to close the album.

It's because of this album I miss the fact there will never be another Type O Negative album. I would have liked to see how they may have evolved with the rest of the world. Instead we will now have to just remember the legacy they left behind, and honour them by cranking this album.

8/10 - content

8/10 - production

9/10 - personal bias

Alice Cooper - Prince Of Darkness

There are some albums I can never figure out why the hell I picked it up, other than being a dumb stupid teenager. This album falls totally in that group. This album is made up of the two MCA Alice Cooper albums. Those would be 1986's Constrictor which I have covered in great detail, so I'll just be copying and pasting those write-ups into here. The other songs come from 1987's Raise Your Fist And Yell, which oddly I have never reviewed. It's one of my favourite albums. Then there's one live track, which I'll get to shortly.

The compilations title track is one of those songs I have a love/hate relationship with. As an adult I find it very well written and executed. It really is a well done song, with a cool guitar solo too. As the kid who heard it for the first time when it came out in 1987, I thought it was boring and bland. It didn't rock hard enough for me. But really, it's a good song. I still have no issues skipping it at any second, though. In fact this is the only song on Raise Your Fist And Yell that doesn't give me little tingles every time I hear it.

Roses On White Lace is one of my top five Alice Cooper songs of all time. I mean this song is just the most amazing example of why Alice Cooper is easily accepted as Metal. I mean this song is just totally bad ass Metal. It's the horror story of blood and violence that those insane censor hungry parents were trying to warn everyone about, and Alice enunciated every syllable with crystal clarity. This was one of those moments where it was the truest most pure form of Alice Cooper as the master of shock, and then going one step further. If this song had come out in the 1970's all hell would have broken loose. "I saw you wedding gown/The prettiest dress/I came into the room that night/And made such a mess/In my own way, I lovingly kiss the bride/With your ring in your hand/Your eyes and your mouth open wide/In my eyes/Blood drops look like roses on white lace/They won't wash away/In my mind they're roses on white lace/Straight from the heart/So dead upon the bed/You hurt me in the deepest way/I'm crippled inside/I took your evil skin away/It's all cut and dry/I saw you tonight and carefully took your hand/With some smears on my cheeks/I knew that you would understand/In my eyes/Blood drops look like roses on white lace/They won't wash away/In my mind they're roses on white lace/Straight from the heart/So dead upon the bed, still searching for your head/They're never gonna find your face/It's hidden away/I found a very special place for you used to play/In my own way, I lovingly kiss the bride/With your ring in your hand/Your eyes and your mouth open wide/In my eyes/Blood drops look like roses on white lace/They won't wash away/In my mind they're roses on white lace/Straight from the heart/Blood drops look like roses on white lace/Crimson and sweet, stained on the sheet/Roses on white lace, pretty in red, dripping and wet/Roses on white lace, spilled on the walls, dark in the hall". Oh yeah, the music makes yours truly feel like a pathetic wannabe everytime I pick up an instrument.

A big lightning strike and a wicked awesome guitar barrage open up this album, which then moves into a solid paced Hard Rock riff. Teenage Frankenstein, is a song that is meant to appeal to a younger audience, at least in concept, and as the "Weird Kid" it was kind of a theme song for me. The first verse for example sets up the idea, "I'm the kid on the block / With my head made of rock / And I ain't got nobody / I'm the state of the art / Got a brain a la carte / I make the babies cry / I ain't one of the crowd / I ain't one of the guys / They just avoid me / They run and they hide / Are my colours too bright / Are my eyes set too wide / I spend my whole life / Burning, turning", but the second verse drives home a mentality I still carry to this day. "Got a synthetic face / Got some scars and a brace / My hands are rough and bloody / I walk into the night / Women faint at the sight / I ain't no cutie-pie / I can't walk in the day / I must walk in the night / Stay in the shadows / Stay out of the light / Are my shoulders too wide / Is my head screwed on tight / I spend my whole life / Burning, turning". You can remove the teenage part of the song and it still fits for so many people I know, including myself.

Constrictor ends with He's Back (The Man Behind The Mask). As I already mentioned, this was the theme from Friday The 13th Part VI: Jason Lives. As a kid I loved this song so much more than I do now, and the main reason is due to all the keyboard work on this song. As a kid I thought it was really cool, and I still think it sounds awesome, but now a days I'd much rather hear more guitar instead. The cool part is how well the lyrics sum up the concept of the movie, right down to the "baby." "You're with your baby / And you're parked alone / On a summer night / You're deep in love / But you're deeper in the woods / You think you're doin' alright / Did you hear that voice / Did you see that face / Or was it just a dream / This can't be real / That only happens, babe / On the movie screen / Oh, but he's back / He's the man behind the mask / And he's out of control". I would still love to see Alice perform this song live, because it is wicked cool and the only song from this album he ever breaks out. But, sadly he only breaks it out for the Swedish. That might have something to do with it being a number one hit there, and they didn't even get the movie at the time.

The main reason I can think of as to why I bought this album is for Billion Dollar Babies, and the fact that it's marked as being recorded in 1976. Not really much of a good reason, but at this moment in time I'm looking at it a little differently. If the year is right, that means most likely it was Dick Wagner and Steve Hunter playing guitar. I mention this because very sadly Dick passed away recently, and I consider myself blessed for getting to meet him and hear him play live in a very intimate setting. So now I'm listing to this song and paying very careful attention to the solo, and thinking, oh hell yeah. For this little treasure, as long as it is Wagner, I'm very happy to have this silly little album now.

Lock Me Up has a killer drum opening, and is yet another reason I love Raise Your Fist And Yell so much. Spoken, "Alice Cooper/You have been accused of mass mental cruelty How do you plead?/Guilty!" Then the singing starts, "Don't wanna be clean / Don't wanna be nice / The whip's gonna crack / My leather is black and so are my eyes / I'm gonna be rough / I'm gonna be mean / I'm here to the end, my sick little friend / I'm back in your dreams / You can take my head and cut it off / But you ain't gonna change my mind / If you don't like it you can lock me up / Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh, / If you don't like it you can lock me up / Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh, / Cover your eyes or cover your head / You'll never know what hit you 'til your covered in red / Screaming bloody murder 'til the barricades bend / Sweatin' in the fog 'til the end / It's gotta be loud / I want it to roar / I want it to blow everyone at the show right off of the floor / I'm in for the kill / I'm back with a rage / I want them to write in the paper each night how I bloodied the stage / If you don't like it you can lock me up / Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh, / If you don't like it you can lock me up / Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh, / Lock me up or shut up / Cover your eyes or cover your head / You'll never know what hit you 'til your covered in red / Screaming bloody murder 'til the barricades bend / Sweatin' in the lights 'til the end / If you don't like it you can lock me up / Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh, / If you don't like it you can lock me up / I wanna be hot / Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh, / If you don't like it you can lock me up / I wanna be cool / Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh, / If you don't like it you can lock me up / I wanna be sick / Woah, oh, oh, oh, oh -real sick". Then there's the music. At the core it's a bit of the basic Metal, but when you pay attention to the speed that's really going on in this track you can't help but wonder why this album didn't do better, and the simple answer is that it was ahead of it's time. Seriously, this album was a fully digital masterpiece. It was one of those albums that reminds you why Alice is The Master.

Simple Disobedience is one of those songs that is just as relevant today as it was twenty-five years ago, maybe even more so today. "Now all your complex little schemes that form your master plan / Are scrambled up and that is something you just don't understand / A cyclone of confusion rips right through your holy troops / The very thing that weakens you gives power, gives me juice / And all the hungry outlaws have taken up a stance / Simple disobedience / Yeah, all the hungry outlaws have taken up a stance / Simple disobedience / Take your laser microscope and try to find an answer / No antidote or drug to cure our special strain of cancer / It spreads its revolution wide from cell to cell to cell / Your kingdom's like your body, it dies and goes to hell". Now even with all this raw anger waiting to spill out, it's the guitar work that really makes this song powerful. Kane Roberts' fills, and just general playing is so mean. This was a great way to end side one of the cassette, or vinyl picture album (I still own this one).

Thrill My Gorilla, is one of those songs I don't know how to take. "Sukie honey, weren't you right there with me / I seem to remember chasing you from tree to tree / Those prehistoric nights are coming back to me / We must have been the first / To go down in history / Where were you when the monkey hit the fan / Thrill my gorilla / Where were you when monkey turned to man / Thrill my gorilla / We lay on our skins, original sins / Ah, ah, ah, ah yeah / We touch, we feel / We scream, we squeal / Thrill my gorilla / Thrill my gorilla". Clearly you can't take this song serious, but at the same time you kind of want to. To be honest I would have loved to have heard the Ramones do a cover of this one. This song has their type of vibe to it.

As a kid Life And The Death Of The Party had little to no meaning to me. As an adult I love this song. It's so dark and beautiful. This is truly a Love Metal song, and could easily be Goth Metal, if say Type O Negative had covered it. "You walk into the room, everybody stares / The talking stops, there's a silence there / The room is yours, you own it now / You're in control and everybody down here knows / You got a place in my heart, I don't want you there / But you come and you go, like a millionaire / You take a walk right across my soul / You're in control and everybody down here knows / You're the life and the death of the party / You got my heart right by the throat / You're the life and the death of the party / When the stage lights rise / You start and stop the show / You love me bad, you love me good / You're unimpressed, that's understood / I lost it all, you knew I would / You're in control and everybody down here knows / You're the life and the death of the party / You got my heart right by the throat / You're the life and the death of the party / With your head held high /You start and stop the show / It's just one night / It's just one time / It's just one hotel room / It's just another dream / That can't come true / You're the life and the death of the party / You got my heart right by the throat / You're the life and the death of the party / When the stage lights rise / You start and stop the show". Aside from the part about "being in my heart" and not wanting them there, I would say that this song also reminds me of a certain editor I know, but not in the negative context that it seems to be protrayed here. Like I said this song is Love Metal.

Freedom is the lead off track from Raise Your Fist And Yell, and it did it's job perfectly. It really gets the blood pumping and energy flowing. It's not one of my faves from that album, but it is a really good song on this album. But it brings me to the perfect ending for this album's review.

See, the biggest problem with this album is the way it is put together, the track order is silly, and considering this an album released in the age of the compact disc, it could have easily had one more track added to it for better balance. It should have went five tracks, Billion Dollar Babies, then five more tracks. Then there's the track list, as you can tell from some of the copy and paste these tracks are in completely different order. I do think Freedom should have followed Billion Dollar Babies to lead off the second side and Life And Death Of The Party could have easily been the closer. However, I notice as I keep trying to arrange the tracks on this album, it's almost impossible to put these in any great order. Most of these tracks worked best in their order on their respective albums. Which means this album is great in a mix, but not so good as a solo play.

As a quick last thought, I love the production on the Raise Your Fist And Yell material, and would rate it very highly, but the live track, plus the Constrictor material has me holding it at seven, just because I won't use decimal points. So, you can hear the production as seven point five.

8/10 - content

7/10 - production

6/10 - personal bias

Ronnie James Dio - This Is Your Life

I am far from the worlds biggest Dio fan, but I love the man's voice, and over the course of his career he laid down some killer songs. As the Vocalist of Rainbow, Heaven And Hell, or during his solo time. Ronnie was a brilliant lyricist and his vocal performance was fantastic. There are songs on this album I had never heard before, but I can totally picture Ronnie belting them out.

This album is a tribute to the man that made Metal what it is today. It features some of Metal's biggest names, some of it's newer acts, and a few names that I need to check out after listening to this album. However, what I expected and what I got from this album are two completely different things. For example the one song I could not wait to hear and had me the most excited let me down the most. Mainly because the idea I had in my head and what I really got didn't match.

On the other hand there were some songs I expected very little from and instead was very pleasantly surprised. One thing that people might notice very quickly is that the keyboards are missing from a good chunk of songs. Out of fourteen songs only three have either, keyboards, piano or organ. Which is where some of the coolest parts of this album comes from.

The album kicks off with Anthrax performing Neon Knights. If you don't already know, this is a song from when Dio replaced Ozzy Osbourne in Black Sabbath. I may have mentioned before, or maybe not, it's only Sabbath with Ozzy. When it's Dio, it's Heaven And Hell. While I don't like the legal bullshit that forced that to be an official change, to me it honestly was two different bands. All that aside, I actually never really cared for this song. I don't mind this cover, and this is well done, but I was never a big Anthrax fan either. I will say that this was an acceptable way to open the album.

The Last In Line performed by Tenacious D follows that up. And while they are often viewed as a joke band, becuse they have a good time and aren't afraid to show some whimsy, they deserve to be on this album just as much, if not more than any other group. First off Ronnie graced a Tenacious D album, secondly this is a group that truly loves Dio. You can tell by how well this cover is done. I mean Jack Black really gives a brilliant vocal performance. Even the recorder solo is killer. Yes that's right, Kyle Glass busts out the recorder on this track. I would have sworn it was a flute, but the liner notes say different.

I have never heard of Adrenaline Mob. I'm not sure if they were just thrown together for this album, or if it's a side project, and I'm confused because I recognize some of the band members from other places. Either way they deliver the first song on the album to make me stand up and go "Oh! Fuck! Yeah!" I mean they come flying through with one of my favourite songs from Dio/Butler/Iommi, Mob Rules. Russel Allen, who's name doesn't ring a bell, delivers a fantastic vocal performance. You know he loved this song when he went at it. The rest of the band tears it up big time, and does Heaven And Hell proud.

Okay, there's this guy that's in Slipknot and sings some song about glass doing some side project. I can never remember his name, but he always ends up as the butt of a joke for that glass tune. So I wasn't expecting much from Rainbow In The Dark. Then I notice that there's no keyboard. If you check out the liner notes this song is two guitars, a vocalist and a drummer. Aside from the drummer sounding like he's got a click track up his ass, this is a really tight track. Corey Taylor's vocals do do the song justice, but it's the guitar work that makes it awesome.

Never heard of Halestorm before this album. I was informed that it was a female vocalist doing the song and went, "Okay, I can see that. Then Straight Through The Heart kicks in and Lzzy Hale kicks in with her vocals and I'm totally floored. I expect vocals that sound like your normal female Metal vocalist, which is to say very operatic. Instead what I hear is this bad ass growl and snarl Rock vocalist that just tears into the song with the rest of the band, and just brings it home. I mean they really really kick this one out. Enough to say I should look into them.

Starstruck is performed by Motorhead, with Biff Byford (Saxon). This is a great track, that works well. But to me this song is a filler. It's one of those tracks that made sense for this combo to use, but it's a filler all the same.

The Scorpions performing The Temple Of The King makes sense to me. They are the right band for this song, and they do it very well. However, this is not one of those songs that I would have picked either. It's a little too mellow and laid back for me. The Scorps own this one, though.

Egypt (The Chains Are On) is performed by Doro. If you look in the liner notes you'll see it was recorded in 1999. I have no idea if this song was a leftover from a recording session, or was taken from an album, or who knows what. Either way it works, and while it's a bit slower in pace it really brings this song to life. However, this was the type of female vocals I was talking about earlier, but it works really well. It's a little more Lita Ford 80's Metal female vocalist, but that's clearly okay for this song.

Typically I find Killswitch Engage a little screamy, and their music a bit typical of the genre, but that's not to take anything away from them. They just aren't my thing, but they are decent musicians and I can respect what they do, and that's exactly what I must say with Holy Diver. This song is their's, and there's no doubt about it. The vocals are impressive and well done, and the music is totally heavy octane. This is the exact kind of thing I love to hear on tribute albums, a band giving their take on a song, not just a faithful cover.

Catch The Rainbow is performed by a mixed group of musicians. Glenn Hughes lays down just the vocals, with a very soulful, almost easy listening styled sound. Craig Goldy handles the guitar, Rudy Sarzo's on bass, and Simon Wright plays drums. Scott Warren is one of the few keyboardists on the entire album, and he also provides the string arrangements. As for the song itself, it's very pretty and I would put it on in mixed company, because this is the kind of song that chicks would enjoy. At least based on the females I live with. It's not the kind of tune I would normally listen to outside of this album.

I is a Heaven and Hell song that I just didn't know. It's another song made up of a mix of musicians. Oni Logan lays down some very solid vocals, in fact when he does the chorus you would think Ronnie James Dio himself was part of the recording. Rowan Robertson delivers some killer guitar. Jimmy Bain's bass does what bass is supposed to do on a post original group Sabbath, and the same can be said for Brian Tichy's drums. This is one of those songs that inspires me to search out more Dio/Iommi/Butler team-up albums.

Man On The Silver Mountain is my favourite song to feature Dio on vocals. It helps that Ritchie Blackmore is the guitarist of Rainbow, which is the band this song originally comes from. Now if you know much about names, if you were told that Doug Aldrich (guitars), Jeff Pilson (bass), and Vinny Appice (drums) made up the core of this band, with Scott Warren providing Hammmond B3, you'd know this song should be pretty solid musically, and you would be right. Then I tell you Rob Halford is the vocalist, and you should pretty much be ready to shit yourself with shear anticipation. Then you listen to the song, and because of a completely unfair expectation you have already set, the song drastically fails and blows your listening experience to shit. Okay that's a little dramatic. It's still a pretty good song, it's just that you expect so much when you see Halford is performing a Dio track, and then you have to remember that the older a dude gets the harder it is to hit those crazy notes that you expect.

The Ronnie Rising Medley performed by Metallica was yet another let down, because what I expected and what I got were two different things. Let me start with they should have got Bob Rock to produce the song. I went into this song expecting something like the Merciful Fate Medley, and got what feels more like a live track with the audience totally stripped out. It's the production that really kills this song for me. I love the arrangement, and the way most of Ronnie Rising Medley is put together, I just don't care for the sound of it.

The album finishes with This Is Your Life which is a Dio track, sung by Dio. I'm not sure what the entire story is behind this song being on the album, but it is a bit of a melancholy way to finish up the album.

All in all it's a pretty good album. I like it in a mix, and it's not bad on repeat full album listenings. I don't know if it's one of those albums I'll still be listening to a decade from now, but you never know. It's also a shame there weren't more newer bands. That makes me worry about the quality of what's out there nowadays.

7/10 - content

7/10 - production

6/10 - personal bias

Alice Cooper - Muscle Of Love

Some albums never get the respect they deserve for so many different reasons. I mean sure Muscle Of Love is the most tame and boring album the original Alice Cooper group released, but that's for very good reasons, none of which had anything to do with bad music writing.

Let me start by saying that I hate the fact the the track list on the back of my CD does not match the actual order. At first it seems like the sides got mixed up during the digital printing, but by the time track three kicks in that theory goes out the window.

Then we get into all the behind the scene problems with this album that makes it a lesser album to many fans. To start with this is the only album from the original band on the Warner Bros. label that wasn't produced by Bob Ezrin. The liner notes for other albums may say different, but everyone will say Bob did those too. Muscle Of Love is another story though. This album is listed as being produced by Jack Richardson and Jack Douglas. They did a great job, but you can hear the difference between this album, and the previous four, Love It To Death, Killer, School's Out and Billion Dollar Babies. This album sounds too polished, with the glitz and glamour of Hollywood romancing a Broadway production. Every song on this album sounds like a broadway tune, or a Hollywood soundtrack tune.

There are some other major issues with this album as well. You can tell the band wasn't recorded together. Other albums sounded more live off the floor, where as this one sounds like it was held rigorously to a click track. I know from books I've read that this was a very dark period for the original group. Part of it was the vocalist becoming the center point, part of it was the lead guitarist's health falling apart. But with all that stacked against them, they still managed to pull off a cool album.

The album opens with Big Apple Dreamin' (Hippo). This song has that total New York Groove. I mean this song musically captures what I think of as New York, to the fullest extent. It's particially the great American Dream, and part dirty debauchery, all for the viewing world's audio pleasure. Then for those that can't hear it in the music, the lyrics spell it out. "We're so young and pretty, we're so young and clean / So many things that we have never seen / Let's move from Ohio, sell this dam' old store / Big Apple dreamin' on a wooden floor / Skyscrapers and subways and stations / Staring up at the United Nations / New York is waiting for you and me, baby / Waiting to swallow us down / New York, we're coming to see what you're made of / Are you as great as you sound / Heard about them massages, and all those dirty shows / I read somewhere some places never close / While we waste time on yokels, comin' through the door / Big Apple dreamin' on a wooden floor / Skyscrapers and subways and stations / Staring up at the United Nations / New York is waiting for you and me, baby / Waiting to swallow us down / New York, we're coming to see what you're made of / Are you as great as you sound / New York is waiting for you and me, baby / Waiting to swallow us down / New York, we're coming to see what you're made of / Are you as tough as you sound / Oh, New York is waiting for you and me, baby / Waiting to swallow us down, whoo-oo / New York, we're coming, to see what you're made of / Are you as tough as you sound / Yeah, New York is waiting, baby / Waiting to swallow us down, / New York, we're coming, see what you're made of / You can't be as tough as you sound / Oh, New York, you and me, baby / Waiting to swallow us down, / New York, we're coming see what you're made of / Are you as great as you sound / Oh, New York, Oh, New York we're coming / Oh, we're coming to see what you're made of / Oh, you can't be as tough as you sound / Me and my baby, we're coming / Oh, we're coming / They're waiting for you and me, baby / Oh... (Fading out dialog)". On a side note I should mention that the drum riff used for most of the song is one of my favourite warm ups for starting a jam session. It totally gets the vibe going.

Never Been Sold Before is a great track in it's very honest portrayal of what I would think it's like to become a prostitute, during that first experience. "You ask me, babe / "Can you work tonight?" / I've been up, babe / Since broad daylight / I just can't believe that you're selling me / You never sold me before / I just can't become your lousy whore / Oh yeah, I'm stacked nice / They really like my style / Fifty bucks, babe / Can't even buy my smile / I just can't believe that you're selling me / You never sold me before / I just can't become your lousy whore / I find I come around just to / Lay this money on you, babe / I'm sick of streets, chicks and dicks / And I'm, I'm really sick of you / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / I just can't believe that you're selling me / You never sold me before / I just can't become your little whore / No, no, no, no / I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again". And I find it more interesting to hear it sung by a man, with a perspective that seems very male to me. This rings of 53rd and 3rd to me, just more complex, and less raw and edgy.

I love Hard Hearted Alice. I mean I totally dig this quiet, distant, sad, dreamy song. I love how it builds and builds into a giant center piece to establishing the concept of what it's really like to be the character/band Alice Cooper. When the song is being sweet and gentle it's the guys that have been battered and bruised still trying to be starry eyed. Then when it gets all heavy and crazy, it's the band on stage. The same band you can see in Good To See You Again Alice, go watch it. On any other album this song would have become a fan favourite I think.

Crazy Little Child is a show tune. This is some guy up on stage with a piano telling the story of being a mobster. You'd find this song in the musical Chicago, or Showboat, or what have you. I mean seriously, this song totally shows the original group's love of musicals.

Working Up A Sweat is one of the most fun songs on the album. While the content many may find childish and predictably about sex, lyrically it shows how lazy music has become. "Aw, When you touch there, honey / Makes my blood perspire / You got my body flaming / Like a California fire / Pulsing, pounding, pushing / No longer in control / Heatwave in my brain / Smolder in my soul / You got me workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / I've been playing all night long / Time I was gettin' home / But I've got no place to get / Spontaneous combustion / Scientific fact / But your approach to friction / An unnatural act / Bells I hear ain't fire drills / I hope you understand / It's a bona fide five alarmer / Melting in my hand / You got me workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / I've been playing all night long / Time I was gettin' home / But I've got no place to get / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Yeah, yeah / I've been playing all night long / 'Bout time I was gettin' home / But I've, ooh / Dante's famed inferno / Was a trip to hell and back / But you and a bottle in a cheap hotel / Screams pyromaniac / Bandages came off today / Really feeling sick / The hardest part's explainin' / All those blisters on my - nose! / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / I've been playing all night long / Time I was gettin' home / But I've got no place to get / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / I've been playing all night long / 'Bout time I was gettin' home / But I've, ooh / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat". It says so much without ever really saying what it's really saying.

If you were to ask me to list some of the greatest guitar riffs of all time Muscle Of Love would end up in the top ten for sure. In fact this is the most underated and overlooked Alice Cooper song to ever be released. Even I have a bad habit of forgetting about it from time to time, just because of the albums I have it on. If this song had been on any other album released by the orginal group it would have been a major player, and would probably be a live standard now a days, instead it barely ever gets played. I think I've only seen it played live once. I seriously could not boast about this song enough musically. Lyrically, well that's another story. In fact the original demo for this was called No Respect For The Sleepers, and if those lyrics were attached to this music, it may have turned more heads for the right reasons.

The Man With The Golden Gun, while not being a James Bond song, was an honest attempt to become one. While in the theaters to see Live And Let Die, I believe they saw in the end credits that this would be the title of the next Bond movie, so they really tried to get the movie's title track. Sadly it didn't go to plan, because this is a great song that was much better than the one that ended up in the opening title sequence.

I have never liked Teenage Lament. Since I got my first copy of Alice Cooper's Greatest Hits, I have always found this song weak, thin, and really fucking whiney. I just could never relate to this song on any level. It's like they were trying to do a more grown up and sophisticated version of I'm Eighteen, but it just falls flat. I never understood how it made the Greatest Hits album, and after listening to this album I still don't get it. It's the worst track on this album as far as I'm concerned.

Woman Machine finsihes up the album. This really is a fun and sexy sounding song, that has a real sci-fi edge to it that would have been more brought to life if handled by Ezrin. The way this song was done it sounds like a generic track you'd find in the back ground of a movie instead being the title track that it could and should have been.

While it would never end up on one of my favourite albums list, it is still a really great collection of songs to listen to. Only one should be skipped if you ask me, and the rest are just so cool. Most people never ever seem to realize just how talented the original band was, even when a good part of the album, is in fact other musicians playing and writing as well. As I mentioned at the very start the lead guitarist was really sick at the time.

Bottom line, if you really love love Alice Cooper you really should own this album and enjoy it. If you are time era specific with your Alice this album may not be right for you. After all it is a little different than you'd be use to.

7/10 - content

7/10 - production

8/10 - personal bias