Some albums never get the respect they deserve for so many different reasons. I mean sure Muscle Of Love is the most tame and boring album the original Alice Cooper group released, but that's for very good reasons, none of which had anything to do with bad music writing.
Let me start by saying that I hate the fact the the track list on the back of my CD does not match the actual order. At first it seems like the sides got mixed up during the digital printing, but by the time track three kicks in that theory goes out the window.
Then we get into all the behind the scene problems with this album that makes it a lesser album to many fans. To start with this is the only album from the original band on the Warner Bros. label that wasn't produced by Bob Ezrin. The liner notes for other albums may say different, but everyone will say Bob did those too. Muscle Of Love is another story though. This album is listed as being produced by Jack Richardson and Jack Douglas. They did a great job, but you can hear the difference between this album, and the previous four, Love It To Death, Killer, School's Out and Billion Dollar Babies. This album sounds too polished, with the glitz and glamour of Hollywood romancing a Broadway production. Every song on this album sounds like a broadway tune, or a Hollywood soundtrack tune.
There are some other major issues with this album as well. You can tell the band wasn't recorded together. Other albums sounded more live off the floor, where as this one sounds like it was held rigorously to a click track. I know from books I've read that this was a very dark period for the original group. Part of it was the vocalist becoming the center point, part of it was the lead guitarist's health falling apart. But with all that stacked against them, they still managed to pull off a cool album.
The album opens with Big Apple Dreamin' (Hippo). This song has that total New York Groove. I mean this song musically captures what I think of as New York, to the fullest extent. It's particially the great American Dream, and part dirty debauchery, all for the viewing world's audio pleasure. Then for those that can't hear it in the music, the lyrics spell it out. "We're so young and pretty, we're so young and clean / So many things that we have never seen / Let's move from Ohio, sell this dam' old store / Big Apple dreamin' on a wooden floor / Skyscrapers and subways and stations / Staring up at the United Nations / New York is waiting for you and me, baby / Waiting to swallow us down / New York, we're coming to see what you're made of / Are you as great as you sound / Heard about them massages, and all those dirty shows / I read somewhere some places never close / While we waste time on yokels, comin' through the door / Big Apple dreamin' on a wooden floor / Skyscrapers and subways and stations / Staring up at the United Nations / New York is waiting for you and me, baby / Waiting to swallow us down / New York, we're coming to see what you're made of / Are you as great as you sound / New York is waiting for you and me, baby / Waiting to swallow us down / New York, we're coming to see what you're made of / Are you as tough as you sound / Oh, New York is waiting for you and me, baby / Waiting to swallow us down, whoo-oo / New York, we're coming, to see what you're made of / Are you as tough as you sound / Yeah, New York is waiting, baby / Waiting to swallow us down, / New York, we're coming, see what you're made of / You can't be as tough as you sound / Oh, New York, you and me, baby / Waiting to swallow us down, / New York, we're coming see what you're made of / Are you as great as you sound / Oh, New York, Oh, New York we're coming / Oh, we're coming to see what you're made of / Oh, you can't be as tough as you sound / Me and my baby, we're coming / Oh, we're coming / They're waiting for you and me, baby / Oh... (Fading out dialog)". On a side note I should mention that the drum riff used for most of the song is one of my favourite warm ups for starting a jam session. It totally gets the vibe going.
Never Been Sold Before is a great track in it's very honest portrayal of what I would think it's like to become a prostitute, during that first experience. "You ask me, babe / "Can you work tonight?" / I've been up, babe / Since broad daylight / I just can't believe that you're selling me / You never sold me before / I just can't become your lousy whore / Oh yeah, I'm stacked nice / They really like my style / Fifty bucks, babe / Can't even buy my smile / I just can't believe that you're selling me / You never sold me before / I just can't become your lousy whore / I find I come around just to / Lay this money on you, babe / I'm sick of streets, chicks and dicks / And I'm, I'm really sick of you / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / I just can't believe that you're selling me / You never sold me before / I just can't become your little whore / No, no, no, no / I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again / Oh oh, I've never been sold before / And I'll never be had again". And I find it more interesting to hear it sung by a man, with a perspective that seems very male to me. This rings of 53rd and 3rd to me, just more complex, and less raw and edgy.
I love Hard Hearted Alice. I mean I totally dig this quiet, distant, sad, dreamy song. I love how it builds and builds into a giant center piece to establishing the concept of what it's really like to be the character/band Alice Cooper. When the song is being sweet and gentle it's the guys that have been battered and bruised still trying to be starry eyed. Then when it gets all heavy and crazy, it's the band on stage. The same band you can see in Good To See You Again Alice, go watch it. On any other album this song would have become a fan favourite I think.
Crazy Little Child is a show tune. This is some guy up on stage with a piano telling the story of being a mobster. You'd find this song in the musical Chicago, or Showboat, or what have you. I mean seriously, this song totally shows the original group's love of musicals.
Working Up A Sweat is one of the most fun songs on the album. While the content many may find childish and predictably about sex, lyrically it shows how lazy music has become. "Aw, When you touch there, honey / Makes my blood perspire / You got my body flaming / Like a California fire / Pulsing, pounding, pushing / No longer in control / Heatwave in my brain / Smolder in my soul / You got me workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / I've been playing all night long / Time I was gettin' home / But I've got no place to get / Spontaneous combustion / Scientific fact / But your approach to friction / An unnatural act / Bells I hear ain't fire drills / I hope you understand / It's a bona fide five alarmer / Melting in my hand / You got me workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / I've been playing all night long / Time I was gettin' home / But I've got no place to get / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Yeah, yeah / I've been playing all night long / 'Bout time I was gettin' home / But I've, ooh / Dante's famed inferno / Was a trip to hell and back / But you and a bottle in a cheap hotel / Screams pyromaniac / Bandages came off today / Really feeling sick / The hardest part's explainin' / All those blisters on my - nose! / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / I've been playing all night long / Time I was gettin' home / But I've got no place to get / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / I've been playing all night long / 'Bout time I was gettin' home / But I've, ooh / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat / Workin' up a sweat". It says so much without ever really saying what it's really saying.
If you were to ask me to list some of the greatest guitar riffs of all time Muscle Of Love would end up in the top ten for sure. In fact this is the most underated and overlooked Alice Cooper song to ever be released. Even I have a bad habit of forgetting about it from time to time, just because of the albums I have it on. If this song had been on any other album released by the orginal group it would have been a major player, and would probably be a live standard now a days, instead it barely ever gets played. I think I've only seen it played live once. I seriously could not boast about this song enough musically. Lyrically, well that's another story. In fact the original demo for this was called No Respect For The Sleepers, and if those lyrics were attached to this music, it may have turned more heads for the right reasons.
The Man With The Golden Gun, while not being a James Bond song, was an honest attempt to become one. While in the theaters to see Live And Let Die, I believe they saw in the end credits that this would be the title of the next Bond movie, so they really tried to get the movie's title track. Sadly it didn't go to plan, because this is a great song that was much better than the one that ended up in the opening title sequence.
I have never liked Teenage Lament. Since I got my first copy of Alice Cooper's Greatest Hits, I have always found this song weak, thin, and really fucking whiney. I just could never relate to this song on any level. It's like they were trying to do a more grown up and sophisticated version of I'm Eighteen, but it just falls flat. I never understood how it made the Greatest Hits album, and after listening to this album I still don't get it. It's the worst track on this album as far as I'm concerned.
Woman Machine finsihes up the album. This really is a fun and sexy sounding song, that has a real sci-fi edge to it that would have been more brought to life if handled by Ezrin. The way this song was done it sounds like a generic track you'd find in the back ground of a movie instead being the title track that it could and should have been.
While it would never end up on one of my favourite albums list, it is still a really great collection of songs to listen to. Only one should be skipped if you ask me, and the rest are just so cool. Most people never ever seem to realize just how talented the original band was, even when a good part of the album, is in fact other musicians playing and writing as well. As I mentioned at the very start the lead guitarist was really sick at the time.
Bottom line, if you really love love Alice Cooper you really should own this album and enjoy it. If you are time era specific with your Alice this album may not be right for you. After all it is a little different than you'd be use to.
7/10 - content
7/10 - production
8/10 - personal bias
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